Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
So it’s been a while since my last post, and I must say that I am sorry about that. I got myself into a bad situation at the casino. Seems I wasn’t following my own Ten Commandments of Gambling, and for that I paid the ultimate price.
Just to recap, these Ten Commandments were passed down to me in the form of accumulated experience and as such should only be read by those wanting – no scratch that – NEED to know how to make money gambling. So if you’re not prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice and change your gambling habits then don’t read these tasty nuggets of information. For those who need money, CRAVE money, then go ahead. Just say I didn’t warn you.
Ten Commandments of Gambling (see end for legend):
** EDITORS NOTE **
REMOVED LIST AFTER CLAIM OF OWNERSHIP BY VIACOM CANADA
Thou shalt have good gambling etiquette
fdhsa
Dear Mr. Buchon
It has come to our attention that the content found on your blog is a direct violation of a copyright help by Viacom Canada as defined by the Canadian Copyright Act (1985). Please remove your list entitled “Ten Commandments of Gambling” immediately.
Respectfully,
Jommy Jommerson
LEGEND
firstborn = child, born first
them = any of your mom’s friends that you deem attractive
beareth = to taketh
dead = no longer living
Israel = Vegas
Priest = Dealer
Basket = Sidebet
divers = dealer’s hand
whore = prostitute
sodomite = cheater
Lord = Pit Boss
“Wounded in Stones” = order two drinks, pay for one
“ox fall down by the way” = penis
“and hide thyself from him” = while hiding
“thou shalt surely help him to life them up again” = without sheepishly confessing afterwards
“fetch his pledge” = to fetch a can of pledge
3.***If you’re penis gets cut off, theres nothing the pit boss can do for you, so don’t bother him
2.** If you’re in your house, NO MATTER WHAT, make sure you’re telling your kids about them.
1. * Only to be said if your friends are as excited as you are when you pitch a tent.